If there is something that I struggle to deal with; with a heavy heart, it's grief.  You see,  It's not like I don't cry, I do. Over a pair of jeans for the way that it would fit, a cup of Chai which after many attempts, would sincerely be tasteful; I will also cry over a sunset, over the lyric of a song which might simply make my heart happy.  But when there’s a slight ache in my heart or some grief, I find myself quiet. No emotions, no feelings, no sulking whatsoever. Quiet. As if, there are tears that want to roll down but nobody to roll up to. As if, there’s someone with a cupboard running inside but somehow is unable to come out of it.  As if, there’s this indescribable pain/ anger that makes me so anxious, that to an extent I rush to find solace but I am not able to find it. You know I feel like I am not made for this and as I looked around, I wasn't the only one. Till today, I find discomfort in the way that I feel for certain someone’s/ things that broke my he

A few years ago, I dreamt about meeting someone. This woman: with an aura such that it would feel as if she lit the room. It would feel as if she was there to make you feel a certain way, like you were about to experience love, and It would literally feel as if you were cared for.  This woman carried herself in a way that her confidence and the nerve collided into each other, for each other. She felt like this magnetic force that was nurtured to see life with a different set of eyes. As if, the evil had scattered through an ample of fireworks lightening up the good. As if, there was this tiny bit of human-ness in the people who committed sins. As if, there was a heart to the ones who made her believe that eternity never belonged. As if, there was a vision over your soul. She knew the answers that you seek. She knew what you’re supposed to do when you’re angry, what not to do when you’re in pain, what to do when your nerves are wrecking over something that could be big for you and what

  You know how everyone has a plan when they grow up? Someone dreams of being an architect, a movie star, a chartered accountant, a banker, a teacher, etc.  I did not have one, I had many! If you must know me, you should know that I love kids. I love to play with them, feed them, entertain them, put them to sleep (if needed), etc. It sounds childish but there was a point in my life where I had discovered that I'd want to be a teacher. A kindergarten teacher, to be precise. Though I never pursued it, it was a back-up plan for sure. It might still be one. So, a teacher. WOW! As a kid, Baba would take us for trips. We've been to Kashmir, Darjeeling, Sikkim, Manali, Kolkata, Rajasthan, etc. Even though I remember small bits of it, I'd feel happy to be there. I would be happy to roam around, understand those places and the best part of it? Sunsets. I can bet you on this. Watching a sun set in a newer city brings you abundant peace. That's what it brought me. If you were to g

 Ah! I have never done this here before.  The year is 2023. The date is January 2. The time as of the moment that I type this 12:23 PM. My name is Sayali, by the way. Sayali Karkare. I am a 24 year old trying to fit into a space which has been my only way to grow. Writing. I am not here to talk about people, communities, religions, politics, education...No!  I am here to talk about myself. I am here to talk about my life, my mental, physical, emotional life. I am here to talk about the experiences and learnings I have gotten over the years, here to talk about all the possible failures I have faced and am still facing. I am also here, to talk about friendships and love. A lot of love. You see, for a twenty-four year old, I may be too young to speak of all this but what if I tell you that the experiences that I have gone through are also experiences you might have had too? What if I tell you that situations which you might have faced are also the ones I have faced, only through a differe